Okay, yes, the conclusion that I came to in my last post was big, but that's not why I put a hold on the post. I stopped writing because I had to leave to go and visit my sister-in-law who just had a baby. Scarlett Emilie Seamons was born on April 10th at 2:30, she was nearly 8 lbs and about 19 inches long. That's 15 nieces and nephews for me.
Okay, back to the post at hand...
The Harrisville 4th Ward gave me time to think. One of the first things that my Bishop asked me was "are you endowed?" When I told him I wasn't, he told me that it was his goal to get me there. I took that with a grain of salt, just like I had countless times before. Bishop Hadley, however, could not be swayed. He wasn't about to "give up on me" until I was there. His gentle insistence made me actually take the Temple Prep class this time with a mind open and receptive to what I needed to hear.
This time when I took the Temple Prep class, it was like a light turned on. The material wasn't new, the teachers (though they were amazing) were not telling me things that I didn't already know, but the time was right. I knew, from the first class, that it was time for me to get to the temple.
I went though that class and drank in every word. The problem was that the class ended and I had to make the next move. That part, I'm not so good at. The next few months were...difficult... to say the least. As my friend the Bishop said, "Satan never wants you to progress." I was second guessing myself right and left, I was finding excuses not to go to church, I was just an unhappy person. I went to the Open House and Dedication of the Brigham City Temple, and felt nothing. I just assumed that now still wasn't the time...even though I was still going through the motions.
The bishop called me in and asked me to pick a date. So I picked the week between Christmas and New Year's because that is when my sister would be in town, and no matter what, I was going to have my whole family in the temple with me. Period.
Well, a week wasn't actually a day, and this went on for another few months. Then came Thankgiving. My sister-in-law Johnny kind of backed me in to a corner. She said that there were two days that Matt could come to the temple and that I should pick one. Well, the first day, December 26th, was the day that Emily was going to be in town, so I didn't really have a choice... It was either the 27th of December or I wouldn't have all my siblings in the Temple with me.
Okay, okay, I know that sounds like a lot of drama, but it was perfect. The minute I made that choice, things just fell in to place. It was like there was a shift in my world. All of a sudden things made sense. I didn't grumble when I paid my tithing, I didn't fall asleep during my prayers, I looked forward to going to church... I felt closer to the Spirit. I can't say that I still wasn't apprehensive, but I had a date, I had an appointment, and I was going to the Temple. Finally.
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